I've been really contemplating lately what I want my life to look like and what exactly I want to see, do, accomplish, etc. Knowing that this is something that every single person must face, and sometimes many times over, I still feel lost. I don't yet feel like I have made the transition from a scared, helpless girl to a confident thriving woman and I wonder what that transition is going to look like when it actually happens. Will it be slow or will I just wake up one day and be ... 'that woman'? Is it already happening? Did I miss it? What if it never happens? O boy...

Actually I think I can safely say that it IS happening, but it seems so painstakingly slow. I am learning how to be a woman in this life and to leave the girl behind. That is not to say that I want to lose my inner child, but I do want to become a responsible, sophisticated, respectable woman. I want to accomplish a successful life and honestly that scares me to death. How can I... this small, insignificant, scared to death little girl possibly do anything the 'big grown-ups' do? And do it right? But I can, and I will. I will have to learn just like everybody else in this world how to become the person I was meant to be.

But the suspense is killing me and it is so hard to be patient for my timeline to unfold just the way it is meant to. In it's own time frame...not mine. If you know me... you can probably understand the frustration. I am not a patient person and have a hard time not getting what I want. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't say I am greedy or overly spoiled...just a dreamer who wants what she wants and doesn't know how to be lost very well.... Who feels like she is meant for something specific and doesn't want to wait to start living that journey.

But I suppose, as it must... the wait continues. Meanwhile, I will continue to explore my existence.

KitKat